A joke;

Dec. 18th, 2010 11:40 am
boodie: shark with human teeth (Default)
One that has been around for many years in various forms, this is an updated version that was posted on a maling list I am, as always it's humour and Your Mileage May Vary as to whether you find it funny or not, I found it funny.


The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
threats, and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to
"Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to
"Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". The English have not been "A Bit Cross"
since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have
been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time
the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when
threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's
get the Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason
they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300
years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in
France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise as precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly"
to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful
Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have
two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new
Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

The Americans meanwhile, and as usual, are carrying out pre-emptive
strikes on all of their allies "just in case".

Canada doesn't have any alert levels.

New Zealand has raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA".
Because of continuing defense cutbacks, New Zealand has only one more level
of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries"
to "She'll be alright, mate". Three more escalation levels remain:
"Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The
barbie is canceled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the
final escalation level.





All I can say is no wukkas mate!


A joke;

Dec. 18th, 2010 11:40 am
boodie: shark with human teeth (Default)
One that has been around for many years in various forms, this is an updated version that was posted on a maling list I am, as always it's humour and Your Mileage May Vary as to whether you find it funny or not, I found it funny.


The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
threats, and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to
"Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to
"Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". The English have not been "A Bit Cross"
since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have
been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time
the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when
threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's
get the Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason
they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300
years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in
France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise as precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly"
to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful
Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have
two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new
Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

The Americans meanwhile, and as usual, are carrying out pre-emptive
strikes on all of their allies "just in case".

Canada doesn't have any alert levels.

New Zealand has raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA".
Because of continuing defense cutbacks, New Zealand has only one more level
of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries"
to "She'll be alright, mate". Three more escalation levels remain:
"Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The
barbie is canceled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the
final escalation level.





All I can say is no wukkas mate!


LOL

Aug. 16th, 2009 12:40 pm
boodie: shark with human teeth (Default)
I present to you Badass of the week: Australia.

It made me giggle


LOL

Aug. 16th, 2009 12:40 pm
boodie: shark with human teeth (Default)
I present to you Badass of the week: Australia.

It made me giggle


heheh

Jun. 22nd, 2006 11:44 pm
boodie: shark with human teeth (OMG)
Knitting for Psychopaths Not really the sort of knitting [livejournal.com profile] hobbitblue would do 8-)


heheh

Jun. 22nd, 2006 11:44 pm
boodie: shark with human teeth (OMG)
Knitting for Psychopaths Not really the sort of knitting [livejournal.com profile] hobbitblue would do 8-)


LOL

Sep. 15th, 2005 10:48 pm
boodie: shark with human teeth (Default)
From a locked post in [livejournal.com profile] tmi_chix comes this link How I sprained my Boob, the untold epidemic...



OWWWW


LOL

Sep. 15th, 2005 10:48 pm
boodie: shark with human teeth (Default)
From a locked post in [livejournal.com profile] tmi_chix comes this link How I sprained my Boob, the untold epidemic...



OWWWW


boodie: shark with human teeth (bunnyarse)
I wrote this a while ago, it still makes me laugh and brings back some semi happy memories.

learning to drive )

baaaaaa

boodie: shark with human teeth (bunnyarse)
I wrote this a while ago, it still makes me laugh and brings back some semi happy memories.

learning to drive )

baaaaaa

*giggle*

Aug. 1st, 2005 01:53 pm
boodie: shark with human teeth (OMG)
The Magical world of Penis Unicorns... NOT worksafe, and definitely no relation to my little pony.


*giggle*

Aug. 1st, 2005 01:53 pm
boodie: shark with human teeth (OMG)
The Magical world of Penis Unicorns... NOT worksafe, and definitely no relation to my little pony.


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