meant to be

You know I have always detested the term soul-mate and any thing else that smacks of that notion that there is just ONE person out there amongst the teeming millions, that is right just for you, mainly because of the unlikelihood of running into this one person.

So does that mean that if you don't find your soul-mate then anyone else that you end up with is sort of second best, a consolation prize for you, and what does that say about them, how does that make them feel to know that while you're very attached to them that they just aren't that ONE that everyone is supposed to have.

And what if you find your soul mate, your ONE and the for reasons out of your control or his or hers, you break up, drift apart, what does that mean for anyone else who follows, 'sorry I really like you, even love you, but you're not my ONE, hope you can handle that'

Which is why the whole concept of their being just ONE person for each of us is silly, and an insult to our capacity for loving and being loved. That being said, I do believe that out of all the people we meet and fall for, have relationships with, there are some that are for want of a better word, better suited to us, close to that ideal of being the ONE.

For want of a better term I came up with a phrase 'meant to be', now that could have meant 'meant to be together' at that time, or if you're an incurable romantic/cynical/optimist like me 'meant to be forever' perhaps that mythical ONE even.

Some seven years ago I found my 'meant to be' in my optimism I arranged that to 'meant to be for a long time' unfortunately it wasn't to be, we were together for a short time until things happened and well you know how it all goes.

However now I have found my 'meant to be' again, which is a very disconcerting thing, after all he's 7 years older, so am I, lots have happened in that seven years, I've changed, he say's he changed, first hand experience says that he has changed, in some ways.

Looking at him lying fast asleep in my bed while I write this, is also disconcerting, he doesn't look much different, still the same scruffy sort of man he used to be, the sense of humour is the same, and he still has the same ability to affect my good reason.

Something's haven't changed, I still love him just as much as I did seven years ago, I thought that maybe I was just holding onto some good memories and that when we did meet again, I'd realise that I was living in the past, but it's true, I still love him, he still has that power over me, I don't know if he knows it yet, we still haven't talked, I don't know if we will, neither of us seem inclined to even broach the subject of feelings and stuff like that.

Perhaps that's a good thing, perhaps I'm far too old to be still believing in 'meant to be togethers' perhaps it's time even for confirmed romantic/cynical/optimists like me to get a firm grip on what's real and what's not and just leave things be.

Perhaps if I didn't love him like I do, it would be far easier.

meant to be

You know I have always detested the term soul-mate and any thing else that smacks of that notion that there is just ONE person out there amongst the teeming millions, that is right just for you, mainly because of the unlikelihood of running into this one person.

So does that mean that if you don't find your soul-mate then anyone else that you end up with is sort of second best, a consolation prize for you, and what does that say about them, how does that make them feel to know that while you're very attached to them that they just aren't that ONE that everyone is supposed to have.

And what if you find your soul mate, your ONE and the for reasons out of your control or his or hers, you break up, drift apart, what does that mean for anyone else who follows, 'sorry I really like you, even love you, but you're not my ONE, hope you can handle that'

Which is why the whole concept of their being just ONE person for each of us is silly, and an insult to our capacity for loving and being loved. That being said, I do believe that out of all the people we meet and fall for, have relationships with, there are some that are for want of a better word, better suited to us, close to that ideal of being the ONE.

For want of a better term I came up with a phrase 'meant to be', now that could have meant 'meant to be together' at that time, or if you're an incurable romantic/cynical/optimist like me 'meant to be forever' perhaps that mythical ONE even.

Some seven years ago I found my 'meant to be' in my optimism I arranged that to 'meant to be for a long time' unfortunately it wasn't to be, we were together for a short time until things happened and well you know how it all goes.

However now I have found my 'meant to be' again, which is a very disconcerting thing, after all he's 7 years older, so am I, lots have happened in that seven years, I've changed, he say's he changed, first hand experience says that he has changed, in some ways.

Looking at him lying fast asleep in my bed while I write this, is also disconcerting, he doesn't look much different, still the same scruffy sort of man he used to be, the sense of humour is the same, and he still has the same ability to affect my good reason.

Something's haven't changed, I still love him just as much as I did seven years ago, I thought that maybe I was just holding onto some good memories and that when we did meet again, I'd realise that I was living in the past, but it's true, I still love him, he still has that power over me, I don't know if he knows it yet, we still haven't talked, I don't know if we will, neither of us seem inclined to even broach the subject of feelings and stuff like that.

Perhaps that's a good thing, perhaps I'm far too old to be still believing in 'meant to be togethers' perhaps it's time even for confirmed romantic/cynical/optimists like me to get a firm grip on what's real and what's not and just leave things be.

Perhaps if I didn't love him like I do, it would be far easier.