Happy Birthday Mum
Jun. 30th, 2002 12:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
boodieDear Mum,
Happy Birthday, this is our third birthday without you, we miss you still so much, I annoyed the neighbours this morning by playing Bat Out Of Hell up loud, in memory of you, mind you the intro music only just started and I burst into tears, because I could see you, so plainly, dancing around the kitchen to it, and both of us singing loudly and out of tune, you know thats one of my all time favourite albums, but I still can't bring myself to listen to it that much anymore, it's all wound up in you and missing you.
Perhaps it was a mistake to play Bat Out Of Hell at your funeral service, but that's what you wanted, it just means that everytime I hear the song it makes me cry, a fact which I'm sure that Meatloaf would be astounded to know, and believe me, me trying to sing while crying is not a pretty sound, mind you, me trying to sing, as you well know is a not a pretty sound anyway.
I still can't believe it's been so long, you know I still wake up sometimes in the morning and hope that it's all been a bad dream, that you are just a phone call away, and that if I really need a hug all I have to do is ask for one, and then it hits me all over again, you let me down you know, you told me that you would never leave me, but you did, long before you had to as well, we tried holding on to you, but it didn't work, you could have tried harder to stay, but I guess it all got too much for you.
I know I told you that you could go, but I was wrong, if I'd known how much a gaping hole losing you would leave in my life and my heart I would never have given you permission to stop fighting, to stop holding on. If i'd known how much things would change, how much it would hurt and still go on hurting, I would have held onto you and if you'd wanted to go you would have had to take me with you.
I miss you and love you so much Mum.
'Baby you're the only thing in this whole world
thats pure and good and right, and wherever you are
and wherever you go there's always gonna be some light'
Denise xoxoxoxoxo
P.S I also gave the neighbour a dose of Hot August Night, can't let your birthday go by without any Neil Diamond!!!
Happy Birthday, this is our third birthday without you, we miss you still so much, I annoyed the neighbours this morning by playing Bat Out Of Hell up loud, in memory of you, mind you the intro music only just started and I burst into tears, because I could see you, so plainly, dancing around the kitchen to it, and both of us singing loudly and out of tune, you know thats one of my all time favourite albums, but I still can't bring myself to listen to it that much anymore, it's all wound up in you and missing you.
Perhaps it was a mistake to play Bat Out Of Hell at your funeral service, but that's what you wanted, it just means that everytime I hear the song it makes me cry, a fact which I'm sure that Meatloaf would be astounded to know, and believe me, me trying to sing while crying is not a pretty sound, mind you, me trying to sing, as you well know is a not a pretty sound anyway.
I still can't believe it's been so long, you know I still wake up sometimes in the morning and hope that it's all been a bad dream, that you are just a phone call away, and that if I really need a hug all I have to do is ask for one, and then it hits me all over again, you let me down you know, you told me that you would never leave me, but you did, long before you had to as well, we tried holding on to you, but it didn't work, you could have tried harder to stay, but I guess it all got too much for you.
I know I told you that you could go, but I was wrong, if I'd known how much a gaping hole losing you would leave in my life and my heart I would never have given you permission to stop fighting, to stop holding on. If i'd known how much things would change, how much it would hurt and still go on hurting, I would have held onto you and if you'd wanted to go you would have had to take me with you.
I miss you and love you so much Mum.
'Baby you're the only thing in this whole world
thats pure and good and right, and wherever you are
and wherever you go there's always gonna be some light'
Denise xoxoxoxoxo
P.S I also gave the neighbour a dose of Hot August Night, can't let your birthday go by without any Neil Diamond!!!
