the things you find on the internet
Sep. 2nd, 2004 04:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
boodie" Bull's-eye caring is when you hit the target right in the center. Too often, our efforts don't hit the right spot with our partner. Task-oriented individuals who love it when their partner cleans out the garage are usually not inclined to initiate the emotionally expressive caring that their partner may desire. Most people give what they wish to recieve, rather than what the other person really desires. All this time, you may have been giving not what your partner wants but what you want. "
"I noticed this principle operating in my own life. For example, I like to get affection, so I give lots of hugs. My husband is more task-oriented, so he straightens up the kitchen on weekends and saves me the morning paper each weekday. Finally, I figured out that he would be more impressed by my actions than my expressions of affection. So, to celebrate his birthday, I went out and had my car washed as one of my gifts to him because he couldn't stand how dirty it was. He expressed his appreciation with a hug instead of buying me a year's subscription to the car wash."
"Shirley's Golden Rule of Giving is 'give unto others as others like to give unto you.' Caring involves giving in the domain that has meaning for the other person, not just in the domain we prefer or are comfortable with. This is why the traditional Golden Rule, 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you,' frequently doesn't work when it comes to caring actions or gift giving.
--Shirley P. Glass author of NOT "just friends"
Wow, well that is exactly what I was looking for, found that for one of my clients and realised how very appropriate it was..
"I noticed this principle operating in my own life. For example, I like to get affection, so I give lots of hugs. My husband is more task-oriented, so he straightens up the kitchen on weekends and saves me the morning paper each weekday. Finally, I figured out that he would be more impressed by my actions than my expressions of affection. So, to celebrate his birthday, I went out and had my car washed as one of my gifts to him because he couldn't stand how dirty it was. He expressed his appreciation with a hug instead of buying me a year's subscription to the car wash."
"Shirley's Golden Rule of Giving is 'give unto others as others like to give unto you.' Caring involves giving in the domain that has meaning for the other person, not just in the domain we prefer or are comfortable with. This is why the traditional Golden Rule, 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you,' frequently doesn't work when it comes to caring actions or gift giving.
--Shirley P. Glass author of NOT "just friends"
Wow, well that is exactly what I was looking for, found that for one of my clients and realised how very appropriate it was..
