bloody hell

[boodie]

I just had a fight with a creature from the pits of hell, a flying thing, about 2 inches in length, with a red body and wings, i'm almost positive it was a stingy thing too, it was flying round my head divebombing me as i was trying to sleep, so i thought, "aha, fucker!!!!! prepare to die' so I waited til it landed on the wall and 'THWACK'..

Shit, I missed it entirely, of course it was disinclined to wait around for me to get my aim right and beat the crap out of the noisy little bastard, so it started divebombing me again, I think it had been watching war footage of stukkas, it circled and prepared to attack.

THWACK..

Fuck, I missed it again, though i winged it a little, its circles started to get wobbly and it landed on the wall at shoe height and THWACK!!

Jesus suffering FUCK, I missed it again!

This time it fell down beside my bed, amongst all the crap down there, cords, laptops, envelopes, so I started gingerly lifting things out and there he was, the little shit had landed on the lap top cord, so I gently thwacked that and knocked it onto the packet of envelopes and started beating three shades of shit out of it..

AND THE LITTLE BASTARD WOULDN'T DIE!!!!

Each time I stopped, and thought it had breathed its last, it started to buzz..

Christ, it has more lives than a soapie star brought back from the dead.

Finally it stopped moving, so I picked it up in a tissue and was going to throw it down for the cats to play with (LOL not really) when the creepy little zombie bug started buzzing AGAIN.

"I'll get you little sod, and the broomstick you rode in on"

So I put it in an envelope, and folded it over and took great pleasure in squishing it between my fingers.

'eat hot lead motherfucker'

Now I'm awake and not freaking sleepy anymore, and I have the urge to go KILL things!!