bloody hell

[boodie]

I just had a fight with a creature from the pits of hell, a flying thing, about 2 inches in length, with a red body and wings, i'm almost positive it was a stingy thing too, it was flying round my head divebombing me as i was trying to sleep, so i thought, "aha, fucker!!!!! prepare to die' so I waited til it landed on the wall and 'THWACK'..

Shit, I missed it entirely, of course it was disinclined to wait around for me to get my aim right and beat the crap out of the noisy little bastard, so it started divebombing me again, I think it had been watching war footage of stukkas, it circled and prepared to attack.

THWACK..

Fuck, I missed it again, though i winged it a little, its circles started to get wobbly and it landed on the wall at shoe height and THWACK!!

Jesus suffering FUCK, I missed it again!

This time it fell down beside my bed, amongst all the crap down there, cords, laptops, envelopes, so I started gingerly lifting things out and there he was, the little shit had landed on the lap top cord, so I gently thwacked that and knocked it onto the packet of envelopes and started beating three shades of shit out of it..

AND THE LITTLE BASTARD WOULDN'T DIE!!!!

Each time I stopped, and thought it had breathed its last, it started to buzz..

Christ, it has more lives than a soapie star brought back from the dead.

Finally it stopped moving, so I picked it up in a tissue and was going to throw it down for the cats to play with (LOL not really) when the creepy little zombie bug started buzzing AGAIN.

"I'll get you little sod, and the broomstick you rode in on"

So I put it in an envelope, and folded it over and took great pleasure in squishing it between my fingers.

'eat hot lead motherfucker'

Now I'm awake and not freaking sleepy anymore, and I have the urge to go KILL things!!

Comments

[socrateswarrior.livejournal.com]

roflmao I love you XD

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

glad I made you laugh

[hopefulnebula]

*here from metaquotes*

See, that's why I just feed them to the cat.

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

eeeee, i was metaquoted, good lord

[shadowweaver06.livejournal.com]

*waltzes over from metaquotes*

You are WINNAR!

...and you have just made my day...er, rather, my night.

This reminds me of an altercation I had with a mud-wasp on one particularly hot, miserable, and utterly wretched July night as I attempted to sleep. The little bastard dive-bombed my head, eventually stung me in the arm, and pissed me off.

So after I unsucessfully attempted to squash it multiple times with a flyswatter, and much shouting of phrases like, 'Die you fucking little sod!' and 'Bloody hell! Why in the seven hells won't you DIE!' I eventually got it cornered between my sneaker and the wall... and I took great pleasure in hearing it squish beneath the sole of that shoe with a nice, healthy crunch.

Zombie bugs must be some genetically resistant strain caused through evolutionary change... either that, or some moron let a bunch of genetically altered bugs out of a lab somewhere.

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

indeed, it must be catching

[benthecube.livejournal.com]

Couldn't you have just put it outside? Did it really need to die?

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

ewww no, the closest i wanted to get to it was at the end of the shoe.


it was massive

[benthecube.livejournal.com]

Okay so, to clarify, it had to die because it was gross and massive. It had to die because of this?

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

and it was a stingy thing and i dont like stingy things that come into my house 8-)

[moodring54.livejournal.com]

Also here from usermetaquotes :).

This reminds me of the times when mosquitoes fly around my head. The buzzing drives me insane, so end up chasing them around the room like a maniac, being all "RAR! WARRIOR!"

I like do a dance over their dead corpses.

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

LOL

yes.. i dont like mozzies either

[tursiae.livejournal.com]

Thanks.. I'm laughing my arse off here!

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

pleasure -)