misty water coloured memories

[boodie]

Yesterday, I had one of the clearest flashbacks I have ever had in my life, it was rather funny, I was thinking about how soon elven_sorceress will be turning eighteen, and I could remember as a conversation I had with my cousin Colleen, as if it was JUST yesterday.

We were walking down Tottenham Rd, on our way to the Brighton Council Chambers, to get her little boy, Ryan, and elven_sorceress vaccinated, this would make it early 1989, Ryan was due to start school in March and needed to have his booster shots and elven_sorceress needed her third shot of something or other.

When I was growing up I was very close to my cousin Colleen and her brothers, we used to play some bizzare pretend game at my Nans, and she was a princess and her brother was a dog, and we, my sister and I were fairies or something, all I know is that it was a great deal of fun, and we were all close.

Then we all started high school and we were too old for all of that, so we drifted apart, and by the time she ended up having Ryan, when she was eighteen, we had hardly talked for years, but circumstances change, and all three of us, Me, my sister and Colleen, ended up living in the same 'low income' housing department area.

As we were walking, the conversation turned to where we thought we would be by the time our children started high school, Colleen wanted to be back living in S.A with a nice house, a good job and no money worries, with Ryan and her partner Allan. Me, well I had trouble thinking that far into the future, and beyond some fluffy-bunny plans of maybe owning a house somewhere else other than Gagebrook, having perhaps another one or two children, and being with Leon, I didn't really know.

There was some half formulated plan about finishing up my Diploma in working with Disabled People and getting a job in one of the ATCs, or Respite care centres, maybe do a BA in Welfare, but nothing concrete, beyond giving my kids a good loving home.

As it turned out, Colleen was the only one who got anything even remotely like she wanted, by '97 she was living back in S.A, and she did own her own house, she owned two actually, only she wasn't together with her partner Allan anymore, I haven't seen Colleen since just before she left, she didn't make it back in '99 for my Mums funeral, nor in '03 for my Nans, so all I hear is bits and pieces from her Mum, my Aunty Lesley.

By the year elven_sorceress started high school, well I was no where near what I had hoped to come true for us, divorced, being a sole parent, mourning the devestating loss of my best friend, my Mum, without an idea of what I was supposed to be or do.

And the funny thing? Well in my family, *I* was considered to be the bright one, the one who would do things, get places, be something, the general consensus was that Colleen would end up where I am today, struggling.

Such delicious irony.

Comments

[benthecube.livejournal.com]

Seems like some people intuitively know what's expected and work doubly hard to avoid it, and I'm not just talking about your cousin Colleen.

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

you could be right..