How do you tell if you're an Aussie..

[boodie]

By Richard Glover.

You know you're Australian if …

1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".

2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.

4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petroldiscount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.

5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use itfor something illegal such as watering the garden.

6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son'spencil case when he first attends school.

7. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" youwonder how often and with whom.

8. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearingblack thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than itsounds.

9. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".

10. You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".

11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.

12. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca onthe way to Maccas."

13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorateits highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

14. You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone youreally, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".

15. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name fora place.

16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 cointhat's twice as big as its $2 coin.

18. You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to"Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".

19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a goodbreakfast spread.

20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, untilthey stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.

21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.

22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted outduring any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna SeeYour Face Again.

23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionaryknown as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passingyear.

24. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian LaborParty" is not spelt with a "u".

25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.

26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every importantdiscovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold offto the Yanks for a pittance.

27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name themore you like them.

28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able toorder takeaway fluently in every Asian language.

29. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuseme" is always polite.

30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion viayour nose.

31. You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's"youse".

32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hotto handle.

33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned therules for beach cricket.

34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to marketwhat they call "Anzac cookies".

35. You still think of Kylie as "that girl offNeighbours".

36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutallystrip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak infruit.

37. You believe the phrase "smart casual" refers to a pair ofblack tracky-daks, suitably laundered.

38. You understand that all train timetables are works offiction.

39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers willfeel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcoholbeer.

40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of thenational anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.

41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemedessential in the government's new test for migrants.

42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says"cobber".

43. And you will immediately forward this list to otherAustralians, here and overseas, realising that only they willunderstand.

Happy Australia Day.

Mmmmm beetroot on hamburgers... yes please.

Comments

[wizarth.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahahaha!

Gasp!


Hahahahahahaha!

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

LOL

[mattdawolf.livejournal.com]

::HUGS from around the world::

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

thanks hon

[psaakyrn.livejournal.com]

On that note, I should look up on said random facts of Australia. :o

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

random facts are good

[smof.livejournal.com]

"You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemedessential in the government's new test for migrants."

I think that one probably applies to most countries, lol.

And I love beetroot on burgers! Maybe I am somehow part Australian? In fact I am 1/4 *Austrian*.... that's gotta mean something right, hmmm.....

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

Yes... and we welcome you with open arms..

feel free.