ahem..

[boodie]

Dear author of erotica,

Please if you are going to attempt to write something even remotely approaching erotica/smut/porn etc, it would be a GREAT idea to acquaint yourself first with the workings of the human body, in particular the female anatomy, it is nice that you choose to use the anatomical terms for the female sexual organs, but please if you do so, make sure that you use the RIGHT ones, I'm not too sure that very many females would appreciate a 'pulsating, glistening rod of twelve inches' inserted into their URETHRA (OUCH), not even the ones most dedicated to urethral insertions!

And on another point, no matter how much you 'thrust, stroke and rub' you will NOT find your lady friends prostate gland, FYI, thats one thing females don't have, so the odds of her 'cumming' from you rubbing her prostate, are nil.

Just sayin'.

Comments

[kuangning]

You've been reading Literotica, huh? I swear they make me cringe. ie, "pushing deep into her womb" (you mean pushing through the cervix? Ouch!) and the ever-popular pushing into her and *then* finding a hymen halfway down. (Uhh, those stretch across the *outside*, babe. Dunno what you hit, but I bet she screamed ... in PAIN. 'cause, yeah, that ain't supposed to happen.)

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

Yes, sad but true, I swear half the people who write this stuff have never had sex with anything but a hand in their lives.

[slavkei.livejournal.com]

Also, tongues are not substitutes for penises. They are not to be thrust into and out of the vagoo. They are meant to stimulate the clitoris, primarily. Please remember this, it utterly ruins a piece and completely destroys the believability when someone starts thrusting their tongue into a vagoo.

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

*grin*

Well there is that, yes.. also I fancy written by someone whose tongue has never been near said lady bits at all.

[mistystriker.livejournal.com]

*gigglefits* omigawds XD

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

It made me cringe, i went OWWWW and mentally crossed my legs.

[sioneva.livejournal.com]

Oh. My.

Yes, Literotica is a haven for those types. Is there any GOOD free erotica out there?!

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

ASSTR used to be quite good, but now it seems to be overrun with bad incest and torture porn.. ew ew ew ew!!

[the-starshadow.livejournal.com]

Two words: Lady boy.

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

if I was reading about ladyboys, then yes I would expect it, but this was definitely a female with no added extra bits 8-)

[ladyjaguar.livejournal.com]

(Splurt!)

Good thing I didn't have a mouthful of drink when I read that post. Gads . . . there are still people who are so abysmally ignorant about human anatomy and yet they're writing books in which anatomy figures so prominently? How does this stuff get published?

You may guess I don't read it, myself. Just not my cuppa, and if I ever did read one which contained such ignorance, I would fling it against the wall.

After I stopped laughing, that is . . .

As for the term "Literotica" -- that's awfully pretentious, as apparently there's nothing LITERATE about it! Heh!

[funnelwebkitten.livejournal.com]

I think people have a very preconceived idea of HOW erotica is meant to be written, and they think, well I have sex, I know what goes where, I can write about it.

No, you cant!.

Literotica is VERY pretentious 8-)

[ladyjaguar.livejournal.com]

I think people have a very preconceived idea of HOW erotica is meant to be written, and they think, well I have sex, I know what goes where, I can write about it.

No, you cant!

Obviously . . .

Heeheehee.