...it's not making me stronger.

[boodie]

Later on this week I have an appointment/interview with a lovely lady from
Anglicares Financial Counselling section, these are the Federally appointed
people who go over your finances with a fine tooth comb and decide if it is
the right course for you to apply for bankruptcy.

This is a place I never thought I would find myself in, ever, I'm fully
aware that declaring bankruptcy will fuck up my life for the next 3-5
years, but right now I think I have run out of options. Even with
all the arrangements I have in place I still dont have enough to
keep up with existing payments.

I'm continually robbing peter to pay paul and falling behind even
more with some things, and the most maddening soul destroying thing
is that it would take so very little to make all of this work again.

$60 a week is all I need extra, thats all, just $60, which conversely
was almost exactly the amount I was making doing all the freelance
proof-reading last year, before the GFC hit and everyone started doing
everything in-house.

I'm dying inside, piece by piece and it's killing me, because this will
not only impact on me, but my family as well. And tommorrow I have to ring
up the electricity people and arrange once again to pay the electricity
bill off in installments.

This was not how it was supposed to be.