heheheh

Dec. 11th, 2002 11:01 pm
boodie: shark with human teeth (Default)
[personal profile] boodie
A long time ago when I was young and innocent, I used to belong to something called Fido, which ran on things called BBS's which were the forerunner of the Internet, Fido was and still is I guess in some places a message based system, with things called echos, and one of these echos was called LTUAE_OZ, commonly known as latooie, in this echo anything went and most frequently did, from time to time I posted things I had written, and today while cleaning out a HD, i found some stuff..

To most of you, none of the following will make any sense, but to a few, there will be memories 8-)

It's long so. you have been warned






... Its 7.05 am, pick any weekday, and turn on the tv, the revolting visage
of Agro confronts you, in a voice reminiscient of a molten lead over
gravel he announces the next cartoon, you know what to expect, you've been
this way before.. BUT WAIT, something odd is happening, the Tv set is
twisting, melting and reforming into something new, something too horrible
to contemplate, it's it's...

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA LTUAE'RS
(c) Teddy 1994
Starring as the baddies


Dac as Krang
GRimmer as Shredder
Gerry Binder as Be-Bop
Joseph Elkhorne as Rocksteady
Bruce Weinel as Baxter Stockman

Starring as forces of good and all wots roight wiv da world

Mike Burke as Splinter

Monika as Leonardo
Den W as Michaelangelo
Tom S as Donatello
Dags as Raphael

Jackie Boyce as April O'Neill
Juliet as Irma

and Hong Ooi as Vernon



Shot One:

Cut away to the technodrome, Krang, Shredder, Baxter, Be-bop and Rocksteady
are arguing once again as to who is to blame for their latest defeat
against the good guys.

Krang: Shredder this is ALL your fault, you're too soft on them newbie
scum, I want results and I want them now.

Shredder: If only I had some more mutagen, then I could go mutate something
intelligent.

Rocksteady & Be-bop : Wot, like us boss?

Shredder: No you puerile morons, something with brains, someone who can
tie their shoelaces in one go.

Baxter: (sfx erupts into a maniacal like cackle) I've got IT, yes with this
I can get my revenge on those slimy turtles.

Shredder: Baxter, stop that babbling, this better be good, I'm getting sick
of your experiments that fail.

Baxter: (muttered aside) Its not MY ideas its the idiots that implement
them

Shredder: Did say something Baxter?

Baxter: No master

Shredder: Whats this amazing idea.

Baxter: I call it my Nicnolan virus, its a cross between the L*urie virus
and the Mr Vengeance virus, what it does is it changes a persons
personality, it reverses it, I'll show you, I need a volunteer.

Krang: Be-bop!

Be-Bop: Oh boss, no not me, look what happened the last time Baxter
experimented on me, I ended up in Rocksteadys brain, its amazing how
someone can live in something THAT small.

Rocksteady: gee Be-bop, thats the nicest thing any one has ever said to me

Be-Bop: see what I mean?

Krang: You could be right, Rocksteady, go with Baxter

Rocksteady: Sure thing boss.

meanwhile in the sewers..

Michaelangelo: CowaDubbo!!! We sure showed them a thing or three, they wont
mess with us again in a hurry.

Splinter: Caution, Michaelangelo, dont dismiss Shredder, he doesnt give up that
easily.

Leonardo: Splinter is right, its not over yet, no doubt Krang has some
nefarious scheme in mind.

April: (walking in) Hi guys, whats been happening?

All: Hi April

Splinter: We were attacked by Krang and Shredder

April: Not again, you bring it all on yourselves you know

All: How?

April: You need to be more aggressive, you're too NICE

All: Nice?

April: Nice, you let Krang and Shredder walk all over you, show some back
bone.

Leonardo: April, we're turtles, we dont have a backbone.

April: Develop some, look this isnt the real world, its a cartoon, you can
do anything you like.

Donatello: I can invent something that will make us more aggressive

Michaelangelo: No agro unless provoked

April: What do you think Raphael?

Raphael: I'm to ugly to be violent, when you have a face like a smacked
arse people avoid you.

Irma: Guys, you're turtles, you ALL have faces like smacked arses, now lets
go out there and kick some arse.. I'll bring the secret weapon.

All: Not the...!!!

Irma: Yes, the PST


Meanwhile back at the Technodrome


Krang: Baxter have you finished yet?

Baxter: Coming Master, it worked, it worked, it worked

Shredder: Stop prancing around like fuckwit, show me NOW

Baxter: Rocksteady will you come in here?

Rocksteady: Coming old chap, what ho and toodle pip

Krang/Shredder: BAXTER!!!!

Shredder: You pusilanimous moronic imbecile, HOW is that supposed to help
us?

Baxter: Master, let me explain.

Krang: Do it quickly, I'm losing my patience with you

Baxter: What do you notice thats different about Rocksteady?

Shredder: Nothing, he is still the... Why is Rocksteady wearing a suit?

Rocksteady: Nothing personal old chum, but i decided that it was time to do
something with my life, I've decided that its time i got a job, writing
technical manuals seems like something I want to do. Toodle pip and tally
ho, old boy, see you at the club sometime

(Rocksteady walks out the door of the technodrome and is never heard from
again, in this episode at least)

Krang: Baxter you are a prime argument for retroactive abortion.

Be-Bop: What did you do to Rocksteady, he looked like someone have given
him a clue and he knew what to do with it.

Baxter: Its my mutated nicnolan virus, it reverses the basic personality.

Shredder: HOW does THAT help us, you pathetic specimen

Krang: I'm beginning to see the possibilties here

Baxter: Yes, whats the one thing you could say about the Turtles?

Be-Bop: They're turtles?

Shredder: Shut up you fatuous,feculent fool

Baxter: Aside from that, they're ... NICE

Krang: (fx shudders) (and thats a sight you dont want to see to often) Dont
say that word again, my neurons are all a quiver

Shredder: So your virus will reverse their personality?

Baxter: See what it did to Rocksteady

Shredder (fx shudders) dont remind me, soooo, this virus will change their
personality, they will go from being interfering do gooders to nasty
villianous low life, their reputations will be ruined. We will win, finally.

Baxter: Yes Master.

Krang: Do it, do it NOW, I want to see this, those lily white pure turtles,
sullied and living in the dirt.. VICTORY...

Cut back to the Channel 6 news offices, with April, Irma and Vernon

April: Oh Vernon you're such a sycophant "Yes sir, no sir, can I lick your
boots sir"

Vernon: We'll see who gets the next big news story then April, all that
toadying has to pay off sometime

Irma: April, something terrible has happened, the report has just come over
the fax, theres a bus load of Newbies headed this way, and they are armed
and dangerous.

Vernon: YES!!! this will be my big break, i'll be famous

April: Yes, you go Vernon, it'd be better if you went, it's likely to be
dangerous and violent, blood will be shed

Vernon: (turning green) bb-b-bblloood??? ohhh I dont feel so good all of a
sudden, you better go April, I'll stay here and man the faxes

April: I'd better call the guys (sfx crackle crackle) Come in guys, its
April, theres an emergency, meet me at the Zoo. (Leonardos tinny voice
comes through) We'll be right there April..

.... Of course this is all a trick by Krang and Shredder to draw the
turtles out... Shredder and Baxter are hiding on the roof opposite
the bus terminal, waiting for the Newbies to arrive, then they will
spray the newbies, turn em into harmless non violent creatures.
Wait for the Turtles to arrive and then spray them, turn them into
nasty vicious blood thirsty creatures, and then they will attack the
defenceless newbies and the city will turn on them and they will be
hunted creatures..

Thats WHAT is supposed to happen


Outside the zoo, opposite the bus station our forces of good and evil
converge, Shredder, Baxter and Be-bop, The 4 Turtles plus April and Irma,
and a horde of once vicious and now very perplexed newbies

Shredder: Our plan is working, any minute now those meddlesome Turtles will
turn up and finally we will be rid of them, I will have WON, i am a genius

Baxter: I'm the genius, at last this city wll recognise my brilliant abilities

Shredder: Did you say something Baxter?

Baxter: No Master

...Behind some bushes at the zoo, crouch our heroes and heroines...

Leonardo: Something is wrong here, those Newbies arent vicious, I sense a
trap.

Donatello: You always sense a trap (muttered aside) and you are always
right, I hate THAT.

Raphael: Did you bring along your new invention Donatello?

Michaelangelo: remember, No aggro unless provoked

Irma: Cut the crap guys, remember you are here to kick some arse, doesnt
matter whose

April: Just as long as I get some good footage on the vid-cam, some blood,
something painful, I want some real life stuff on this,ok Guys?

Raphael: Look up there on the roof, its Shredder, and he's got a Newbie
hostage, the poor newbie is shaking in fright, looks like Shredder is
explaining the theory of quantum physics to him, thats cruel and inhumane
punishment

Michaelangelo: That's provocation enough... Cover me guys I'm going to
rescue that hapless and hopeless newbie.. CowaDUBBO!!!

... Michaelangelo in series of death defying leaps and acrobatic tumbles,
jumps onto the roof and wrestles the newbie away from Shredder, Shredder
however instead of cowering in fear, just laughs and sprays something in
Michaelangelos' face, Mikey falls to the ground, stunned and Shredder
cavorts like a maniac on the roof....

Leonardo: Michaelangelo is down, lets go.. COWADUBBO!!!!

.. Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Irma, closely followed by April, still
busily filming, all leap acrobatically onto the roof, whereupon Shredder
and Baxter spray them with the nicnolan virus. Shredder cavorts on the
roof, around the recumbent bodies of our intrepid heroes, Baxter laughing
hysterically accidentally sprays Shredder with the virus...

Shredder: WHAT IS THIS, HAVE I DONE ? I USE A MAC, WHAT ABOUT YOU, WHERE DO
YOU LIVE?

..Baxter recoiling in horror drops the spray and it shatters, he gets
drenched in spray from head to foot...

Shredder: ARE YOU NEW HERE, I USE A MAC AND I LIKE CHICKENS

Baxter: Duh

.... Krang, watching this from the comfort of the Technodrome with
Be-bop, turns an unatractive shade of purple, puts the techno-drome in 1st
gear and drives away, leaving the second part of our saga to unfold....

... Michaelangelo is the first to wake up, then closely followed by
Raphael,Leonardo, Donatello, Irma and April (April is still filming)
Looking around they spy the crowd of milling Newbies...

Michaelangelo: They provoke me just by existing, let me at the scum

Raphael: I'm the greatest, I'm gonna kick some arse, aint nobody that can
stop me, move out of my way.

Donatello: Do you think we should?

Leonardo: Fuckin'A' we should, lets go dismember some newbies

Irma: Kill the newbie scum

April: I'm gonna be famous, the film of this will make me rich

...Yelling various obscenities the group repeated their acrobatic tumbles
to the ground and launched themselves onto the terrfied group of newbies...

..It was a scene of absolute carnage and horror, cries of FOAD newbie scum,
and fRo filled the air along with the pitiful screams of the newbies "I
think we should change the name of the aaargghhhh" CowaFuckinDubbo!!!
Soon all the newbies had either run off or were lying in pitful little
heaps on the ground, April came running up....

April: That was fuckin brill, I had just enough tape to get all of it, I'm
gonna be rich, I'm gonna be rich...

Michaelangelo: I'm still provoked, lets get Shredder.. CowaFUCKINdubbo!!

Donatello: I'll be in on that

Leonardo: I have a FOAD especially for him

Raphael: No one can defeat a monolith

Irma: I never got to use my PST on the newbies, I'll use it on Shredder and
really fuck him around

ALL: COWAFUCKINDUBBOBEECROFTFRENCHSFORESTHABERFIELDPASCOEVALENOFIXEDADDRESS

...Shredder, standing vacantly on the roof, next to Baxter who looks
equally vacant, barely gives a quiver when our Cabal of rampaging maniacs
land on the roof, after another lot of impressive acrobatic tumbles..

Michaelangelo: You wouldnt believe how provoked I am scum

Donatello: yeah, what he said and all

Leonardo: FOAD

Raphael: Let me at him, i wanna pound something

Irma: This is for you twonk (there is a ripping sound and the PST is
revealed)

All: AARAARGHHHH

April: Fuck, I've run out of film

Shredder: WHY DONT YOU LIKE ME, MY CHICKENS LIKE ME, I LIKE MY MAC, MY
CHICKENS LAYED SOME EGGS,BUT THEY WOULDNT SIT ON THEM, SO I SAT ON
THEM,WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

All:AAAARARAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAARRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHAAARAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHAARAGGGHH

..Suddenly the roof is empty, in the distance you can hear the sounds of
violent barfing...

Baxter: Duh

...The credits roll and soon the horrible hairy face is back, so is Agro, you
sit shaking, was that for real, or was it all just a dream..but then in the
distance you hear a faint FOAD...

The End

Date: 2002-12-11 06:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elektron.livejournal.com
Boo, what were you on? =P

*snuggles*

Date: 2002-12-12 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dharawal.livejournal.com
heheheheh


High on fun 8-)

Date: 2002-12-12 01:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elektron.livejournal.com
"fun"....

*misinterprets*

Date: 2002-12-11 01:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sevendeadlysins.livejournal.com
See the useful things you used to get up to before you got addicted to posering???

And when do we get an encore of Mutant Bisexual Wiccans from Hell or whatever it was called?

-SDS

Date: 2002-12-12 12:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dharawal.livejournal.com
Alas, I dont think I have a copy of that anymore...

do you?

Date: 2003-01-06 03:32 am (UTC)
ext_4160: (Default)
From: [identity profile] mikz.livejournal.com
It's amazing that Fight-O-Net is still alive! I'm also surprised that there are still as many BBSes around these days as there were in the late 1980s. It's nice that you can telnet to a lot of them these days, like Sydney's Active BBS.

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